Topics:
pain,
chest,
consciousness related finding,
fingernail,
hair,
hand,
needles,
nurses,
oncologists,
puncture procedure
When the needle punctures,
I feel it viscerally through
numbing medications given
only minutes before.
Such pain endured
for what is the alternative?
A choice between
this pain, hair falling out,
side effects too many to name
or cells endlessly dividing
without end.
Where would I be
without my oncologist,
nurses, care team,
so many people
helping me heal.
I do my best to
not flinch
or cry
or shout.
My fingernails
freshly manicured
dig through skin.
I grip onto consciousness.
This is the best
I can do.
My breaths sharpen
against pain.
My chest tightens as
hands meticulously
maneuver around
my body.
I do my best to
lie still,
breathe deeper.
Am I making you
proud?
Permission to reprint granted to the American Society of Anesthesiologists by copyright author/owner.
2022